Sudden silence
by Ahai
Summary: During an orchestra performance Austria collapse. After that his hearing disappear and he doesnt know how to handle it...
1. Chapter 1

Austria tried to tie his tie as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. No matter how many times he tried, he never succeeded. Austria did know how to do it, the reason for not being able now was because of wildly shaking hands. Austria was very nervous for tonight as he was going to perform with the orchestra for the first time. He has been in orchestra practices for a long time. The others from the said practices found Austria quite talented and wanted him to take part in a performance. Austria accepted since he wanted to show and share everything he has learned along with the others he has practiced with. The orchestra had a yearly performance and this year Austria was going to take part of it. Even though Austria is a country and has been through wars and participated in many good and not so good situations no ordinary human could ever do, Austria felt as if he was going to have a nervous breakdown. Music was very important to him, he feared if something was going to go wrong he, and the people of his country, would be mocked for many generations. Austria also had a slight stage fright.

Austria tried tying for the 13th time but it didn't go any better.

"Scheiße!" Austria cursed.

"This is the first time for a while I have heard you curse, drágám"

His wife, Hungary, stood by the door. She wore an emerald green gown with matching long gloves and her long, wavy hair was tied up in an elegant ponytail. Austria got his breath taken away by the view. Hungary looked absolutely stunning; she had to be the most gorgeous woman in the world! He was so happy how his fight spirited wife was able to look so sophisticated. Of course, Austria loved her for who she was, but it was just so nice to see how she was easily able to fit in his "style". Hungary styled herself up so well for his performance. Austria was both happy and not happy for that. He was happy Hungary came along to support him but it also made it more dreading for him if he failed and his own wife would witness it.

"Here, let me help you with that" Hungary stepped forward.

Austria let go of what he was doing. Tying his tie or fiddling with it, he wasn't really sure.

"Danke…" Austria said.

Hungary loosened up the knotty mess Austria made and started tying it properly.

"What is the matter? You never mess up when tying the tie…"Hungary said as she was making the knot.

Austria turned his look to the wall as he didn't want eye contact with Hungary as he explained.

"I-I-I am so nervous; I don't think I can do this…" Austria stuttered.

Hungary put her hand to his cheek so Austria automatically made eye contact with her. Her grass green eyes looked gently at him.

"It's all going to be just fine, don't you worry. You have played with the orchestra many times"'

"Only at rehearsals, but I haven't played in front of a big audience. What if I mess it up? What if I forget how to play the instrument? What if they all laugh at me?" Austria got more and more panicky and was almost hyperventilating.

Hungary put her other hand to the other side of his face so she was now cupping both his cheeks.

"Take a deep breath and calm down" She said.

Austria breathed in and out slowly and Hungary followed suit. Hungary stroked his cheeks down to his waist.

"Just relax, drágám. Don't think like that, I know you can do it. If anyone mocks you, they will certainly hear something from me" Hungary kissed his cheek.

Austria knew Hungary would take action if something bad happened to him, but it would be more than just saying something to them… Austria looked at his reflection in the mirror. Hungary tied his tie perfectly.

"Danke" Austria said.

"We have to go so you won't be late. Are you ready?"

"I suppose I am" Austria said.

He and Hungary put on their coats. Austria took Hungary's hand and they went out.

"

Austria felt as if his heart was about to beat its way out of his chest. The whole orchestra hall was completely crowded! Just to be sure, Austria listed up things that had to be ready before the performance in his head:

Was the violin tuned? Yes. Were his clothes proper and clean? With Hungary checking for him, yes. Did he remember the earplugs? Austria dug in his pockets. No, he didn't remember. The earplugs weren't there! Before getting more panicky, Austria tried to think this through. He would never even ask others to "borrow" their earplugs and he knew they never brought extras. Besides, they needed their earplugs themselves. Austria didn't think of it as a big deal. He raised Italy, who screamed "Nooooo!" a lot during that time. Italy might have been pretty small back then but his screams were loud enough to crack the windows. Thinking those thoughts, Austria relaxed. This was not some rock concert; he didn't really need them for playing sophisticated music. Despite this little thing forgotten, he was ready to perform.

The stage was big with 2/3 of it being a flat floor at front and 1/3 in the back with three step stairs. Austria was one of them on the top step, standing almost in the middle along with other violin players and a few with the triangle. Austria placed the end of the violin to his neck and looked at the audience with a calm expression. As the conductor started waving, the orchestra started playing.

Austria managed to play the violin perfectly, nothing was forgotten. However, he was feeling uncomfortable. It was not stage fright or fear of messing up, he felt as if his arms were playing for him automatically. The music next to both his sides and those under in front of him felt like sharp slicing to his ears. The sound was not bad, it was really nice music, but it was just a bit loud and pressuring. Being in the middle and in the back of the stage made him feel cramped and choking. The sweat poured down his forehead and down his back, his breathing was getting heavier. His vision was getting foggy and without any preparation, he collapsed. As the ones in front of him could feel his weight falling on them, they moved out of reflex so Austria flumped on the second step and rolled down to the first step and then to the flat floor. The whole orchestra stopped playing. The people on the stage crowded around the unconscious Austrian.

"Move, give him some air!" Hungary appeared on the stage to take a look at what happened to her husband.

Hungary ran toward her man on the floor and dropped down on her knees in front of him. Austria didn't move but he was breathing. The breathing was heavy and he was soaked out of sweat, it looked like he just rolled in a puddle.

"Someone, call an ambulance!" Hungary yelled.

Hungary put his head on her lap and dried his forehead with a paper tissue she got from her purse.

"Hold on, the help is on its way" She said to his unconscious form.


	2. Chapter 2

Austria's situation didn't look so bad. He regained consciousness in the ambulance as it drove halfway to the hospital. He was a bit dizzy, but who wouldn't be after flumping down on the steps and the floor? Hungary held Austria in her arms and rested her chin on top of his head. As she rubbed his back to comfort him, she could feel how moist his shirt was from the sweat he perspired during the performance. The paramedics in the ambulance told Hungary to keep Austria awake. Austria didn't seem to be so sleepy; he was more dazed and distant.

"Austria? My sweet Roderich?" Hungary tried to get some contact with him.

He didn't react at the sound of Hungary's voice; she had to shake him in order to get his attention. Even when she did get his attention Austria wouldn't say much. Did he injure his head when he collapsed? Hungary asked the paramedics if this was something serious. They reassured Hungary he would snap out of this state soon and he would be taken care of when they arrived the hospital.

"

Hungary saw her husband from a glass wall, he wore things resembling big earphones. A doctor pushed buttons on a machine. Hungary saw as the doctor pushed a button, Austria looked confused and shook his head. After that session, Austria was taken to another room with another doctor escorting him. Hungary could have gone in there with him, but she chose not to. Austria looked so dazed when they were in the ambulance, so she decided to give him some space till he was completely "back to earth". Hungary walked nervously back and forth the hallway. Another reason for not coming with Austria was that she was too scared to be there and to hear if the checkup didn't go well. Normally she did her best to look on the bright side but after the ride in the ambulance, she wasn't sure she could. She knew how her husband was like, the years of wars was an example. Austria got beaten up badly and it took a long time for him to fully recover. Of course, fighting wars and falling down on steps were two completely different things, but he was very nervous before the performance so that might have weakened his energy somehow.

"I shouldn't have pressured him to perform…" Hungary whispered to herself, feeling tears pressuring her eyes.

She didn't have the chance to cry as the doctor came out and walked towards her. Hungary stood by the door at first but being so into her worry, she didn't realize she stopped up her nervous "march" and now stood far away from the door. She did her best to not look upset as the doctor approached her.

"How is he?" Hungary asked.

The doctor looked through the papers in the file he held.

"He fell hard, so it left him some light bruises. Luckily he did not receive any head injuries"

Hungary felt the lump in her throat loosen.

"Thank god…" She said.

"But something physical did happen to him" The doctor said.

Hungary felt her heart skip a beat.

"What…what happened to him?" Hungary asked nervously.

"Did your husband fall on his sides?" The doctor asked.

Hungary thought back at the performance as Austria collapsed. When he collapsed on the step he hit his left side on the second step, face down on the first step and then he fell on the floor and hit his right side.

"Y-yes…Why?" Hungary said.

"Oddly enough those falls didn't injure his nose or skull, but his eardrums are hurt. I really don't understand how that could be possible. ..Wait, didn't he perform for an orchestra?"

Hungary nodded.

"That might explain it. The paramedics who were in the ambulance couldn't spot him wearing any earplugs, so that means maybe someone took them off before the ambulance arrived or he never wore them in the first place"

"It must be the latter, doctor. I was very quick to come up on the stage so the ones on the stage barely got to touch him. Neither did I take anything out of his ears" Hungary said.

The doctor took out the paper at the bottom of the little paper stack.

"During the hearing test he only scored 5 out of 30. As I was checking him, he said he could only hear ringing and could not hear the surroundings. Despite the injured eardrums, the hair cells in his inner ears are hurt as well."

"Will he be well again?" Hungary asked.

"It's hard to say. The case with his ears doesn't look so good now, all that can be done for now is to see how it will go as the time pass. Tinnitus can go away in a few hours or several days but it can also be a permanent damage."

"I see…Thank you doctor"

Hungary was glad Austria didn't get seriously injured, but she got more worried. She remember one time she dragged Prussia to a lecture about what would happen if you stayed to long at a concert. One of the risks was to get tinnitus and they got to hear a recording of what tinnitus sounded like. Hungary found that sound very annoying and sort of torturing after listening to it for 2 minutes. The lecture did affect Prussia and made him leave earlier at concerts. But the thing that occupied Hungary's mind now was the sound of tinnitus and the fact Austria had it now. Poor Austria! If it was torturing for Hungary after only 2 minutes, just imagine how torturing it must be for Austria having to hear it all the time. Hungary hoped his current condition would disappear.

"

The couple came home at 3 am. The evening orchestra didn't last long after the incident but the trip and the checkup at the hospital did. They just made themselves ready for bed and did nothing else. Austria didn't say a word to Hungary on the way home or while he was getting ready for bed. When they were done and got to bed, Austria leaned his head into Hungary's neck.

"The sound won't go away…" Austria mumbled to Hungary.

Austria sounded sad and tortured and looked very much like it as well. Hungary put her arms around her husband and rubbed his back. Austria clutched himself to Hungary's body and got all silent again.

"_It's painful to see you like this, my love. I hope it will get better"_ Hungary thought.

It was no point for her to say it to him since he couldn't hear anything now.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning sun shone on Austria's face. The sunshine warmed his face but also annoyed him so he was drifted out of his sleep, slowly and surely. The more Austria regained his consciousness, the more he noticed this one thing: Silence. The ringing in his ears was completely gone! Austria felt relieved. He went to bed late yesterday because of this whole awful trip to the hospital after this failed performance. Austria didn't dare show his face in public for a while. Falling on the steps did hurt but his pride was very fragile as well. Austria lifted up his arm. There were some light bruises on it. He could only imagine how many bruises, if it was possible, his pride had. As Austria flumped his arm back down, he felt as though something sliced his heart and poured cold water on him. He lifted his arm and flumped it down again. No sound. He couldn't hear the sound of the duvet being hit by his arm! Austria panicked and started to hit the mattress violently. Hungary came running in to the room.

"Austria! What are you doing?!" Hungary exclaimed.

Austria stopped hitting the mattress as he saw Hungary stand in front of their double bed. Hungary had a shocked and worried expression on her face. He could see she was exclaiming loudly, but he couldn't hear a thing she said.

"I can't hear!" Austria yelled.

Hungary immediately stopped talking. She was shocked by what Austria said and by the volume of his voice. She never knew Austria was able to yell so loudly! Austria crawled to the end of the bed and gripped Hungary's waist. His grip was not hard but it was still firm, as if he was going to drown or something.

"I can't hear the ringing in my ears, I can't hear your voice, and I can't hear myself talk!" Austria panicked more and more.

Hungary was stunned at the sight and by the actions of her husband. Never in her whole life has she seen him so panicky. He was always so calm in scary and pressuring situations, like wars and economic crisis. But now he looked like a child whose bad conscience broke and was ready to confess all bad things he has done. Hungary gripped Austria's upper arms. Unlike Austria's, Hungary's grasp was harder.

"Really?! You can't hear anything?" Hungary said and she was getting a bit panicky as well.

Austria looked sadly at Hungary as she spoke. Her mouth was moving, but there was no sound. Austria pressed his face to her abdomen. Since Hungary didn't receive any answer to her question, she decided to do a final test.

"Austria, do you like cake? Do you speak German? Is it alright with you that Prussia sneaks into our room and fuck me every night?"

She felt really bad for asking the last question but since he didn't react at all on anything, it was a solid proof: Austria was now completely deaf.

"

Austria sat by the saloon table with a cup of coffee in his hands. He was still in his pajamas and despite holding the coffee cup for a while; he drank nothing from it. He looked around the room rapidly as if he suddenly ended up in a completely unknown place. How could complete silence be so awful? Out from the window he saw how the trees and the bushes were blown by the wind. Many children thought the sound of the wind was a scary sound but to Austria it was even scarier to see how the wind blew without a sound. He even wanted the ringing in his ears back. The sound was torturing and annoying, yes, but at least it was a sound…

Hungary patted Austria's shoulder. Austria turned his head and saw Hungary carry a notebook in her hands and a sad expression on her face. She wrote in the notebook:

"_I think we must go to the doctor" _Hungary wrote.

Austria shook his head.

"No. I don't want any confirmation of my deafness; I know my condition perfectly well!" No matter how loud Austria yelled, it was still quiet as death.

"_Maybe something can be done" _Hungary wrote.

"I strongly doubt it. If nothing could be done for the tinnitus, how can something be done for the deafness?"

Hungary was about to write something but Austria put his hand on her writing hand.

"I don't want to communicate with you like this, Hungary. I want to hear your voice again; I want to hear everything again. I don't even know if I speak correctly, I can only feel my throat vibrate and my mouth move but I can't hear my words. Who knows how long it will take for me to lose the ability to talk. But does it matter? It's not like I need it anymore anyway…"

Austria rose up from his chair and walked away. Hungary remained seated by the saloon table with Austria's now cold, untouched coffee on it. Hungary had the feeling she had to go after him but let it be. Austria was in the state of shock and despair; she had to let the situation sink into him a bit. But would he be able to? How was it like to become deaf if you were a musician?

"

Austria, now out of his pajamas and in casual wear, stared at his piano. He was on the verge of crying.

"_I can never play again"_ Austria thought.

Austria found a little bright spot. He could still hear his own thoughts, well, kind of. But his inner voice was not enough. Austria loved music and now he wouldn't be able to hear it anymore. How Beethoven managed to compose music deaf was beyond him, the thought of making music without being able to hear sounded impossible. The joy of making music and the whole point of doing it was because of the sound. How could his life chance after just a day?

"_I guess it's goodbye to this"_ Austria thought and turned around.

After closing the door to his music room, he walked in the hallway and opened the exterior door. He had no idea where he was headed to; he just felt like he needed to walk. He could walk as long as he wanted to but there would be no place to find his hearing.


End file.
